Retail stores are in woe

Retail stores are in woe. Most are now preparing as we see them shutting down and boarding up. Analysts tend to always blame amazon. However, that is not our case. For example, amazon is at best eats 7% of the total consumer pie. Colleagues, that is not enough to account for what is going on. Personally, I believe that we are in a massive economic crisis. Like it just keeps on going max worse.

amazon once more

Former Walmart CEO told this to congress. That they should think about splitting up amazon. Citizens, we are not making this story up. I know it sounds a bit insane. Oh yes, it is amazon once more.

Prince Harry Takes HIV Test

Prince Harry takes HIV test just now. This requires a needle that feels like the prick of a pin. Well, it came out negative so that is super news.

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Cheerleader fired

Cheerleader fired for posting on the internet - wow. She complained that the rules discriminate against women. Like we agree.

college majors

Remember to be wise. Choose some good college majors. Then you will be a financial success. Otherwise, you might wallow in woe. Sadly, a lot of people with a college degree can not find a job in our prissy poor economy. Let that be a lesson to you.

high rent

Teachers cannot afford the high rent in miami. OK, so the county has a plan: Let them live inside the school - wow. Folks, we cannot make an insane plan such as this one up. It is just too crazy. After so many hours of dealing with the little hellions, I think educators would wanna run away screaming.


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economy

Just look at our economy. Politicians say it is weak in the first quarter, but better days are near.  Frankly, we do not think so. Oh yes, that reminds me of the great depression and how we were told that prosperity was just around our corner. Well, what we got was a war. Only a few did prosper. Most people saw our government rationing food and gas.

privacy

Friends we need more privacy. After all, the Facebook fallout could affect academic research now. Yeah, this is one TROUBLED company. It creates issues... like where ever it goes.

simpler times

I remember simpler times even if all that is left is memories. Yeah, they are so awesome. Let us try to create new ones.

mouse

Yesterday a lady told me she saw a rat or a mouse. She did start screaming. Ah yes, but of course. Hey, he is just a little guy. Frankly, he does not eat much so do not worry any. There are those who can fear a tiny little mouse. Often they will describe these itty bitty critters as vermin.

school board

Right now a school board fires a teacher that had nasty comments for people in arm services. He referred to them as the lowest of our low, but freedom requires people will to defend it and die if necessary.

Trade war

The trade war is now Wall Street's top economic concern. Fellows, this is serious. Like it could start cold and then warm up. It is best that we do keep our eyes open.

Self-driving Uber car

Self-driving Uber car kills a pedestrian in arizona. Certainly, there is a lot of risk involved in vehicles are autonomous. Yeah, the lawsuits are going to be enormous. Frankly, we should license all our computer programmers. Hey, we do license an engineer. Let us hope that under our watchful eye... that these coders make fewer programming errors. Otherwise, I do not see a bright future for driverless cars. Brothers and sisters, things that work great in a laboratory, often have in the real world some minor issues.

mine currency

Question for you. Would you let an app mine currency on your mac? This could dramatically slow down your computer as currency mining uses massive processing power. Yet, the final decision is up to you.

3D printed electric car

3D printed electric car is awesome. It took 44 hours to create this nice one. Hey, the future is wow. Expect this amazing technology to become more common. Like we really enjoy cars. Well, electric ones anyway.

Job openings soar

Job openings soar. Frankly, we are not so sure. Question for you. Have you seen a lot of help wanted signs? I did not think so. Politicians think that they can fool us. Except that we have bills to pay. Like if there were so many jobs, we would see an increase in wages. Instead, we see more malls closing down because people still want to buy products, but they have no money.

exec

Wells Fargo's CEO gets a 36% raise.  Oh wow, I do hope that we get one. Ah yes, that would be a pay increase. Dream on. Those are only for the rich exec. After all, the rich get richer and the poor are poorer. Robots will be our new exec.

special straw

Friends, we are not making this one up. Like it is just too crazy. Oh yes, a special straw allows you to drink dirty water as in sewage. Well, that invention is fine with me. However, I think that I will pass.

GE

General Electric stock stumbles as we see a poor prognosis in our once iconic company. John Titor was wrong. Like they are not around in 2036 and they are still falling even now. Expect this major Dow component to move. Yeah, to a place where pastures are greener. Please face facts as GE is not long for our universe.

Neil Degrasse Tyson

Neil Degrasse Tyson attacks the flat earth theory again. Here is a rhetorical question for you. Like why is this even necessary. Oh wow, he does indeed believe in a globe earth as do most men in science.

auto-complete

Google auto-complete results are awesome. For example, searchers want to know about Bill Gates money. They also ponder on Steve Jobs cancer. Sadly, the founder of Apple did pass away. Well, that was many years ago... even so.

Robots

Robots can't live without us. That is what they say in science. Frankly, I am not so sure. Perhaps, they will do just fine without the meat puppies. Hey, that would indeed be us.

12 years

OK, so a man gets 12 years for stomping on a puppy. That is a lot more than a drunk driver gets for killing a young person. Like where did we go wrong? This sentence makes no sense. It is too many years. BTW, I do not like abusers of our canines.

all time low

Yo, there is an all-time low on oscar views. It is down double digits, but there we are. People do not like what they see.

big mac

Ah yes, our big mac is not same. They are flipping the golden arches up side down to make an enormous w.  Hey, we cannot make this up. It is just too damn crazy. Frankly, it simply borders on being an insane maniac.

Lego

Lego struggles to pick up pieces. This was a great company once. Hey, so was radio shack many years ago. Folks, we are in a new era.

Lyndon Kansas

Steven Gibbs address in Lyndon Kansas is eerie. Hey, we are not making this stuff up. Just look it up. Do tell me what you even see. Perhaps, it is just me. Frankly, I do not think so. Oh well, there it is.

17

Florida passes a law that you have to be at least 17 to marry. They used to allow 13 year olds girls, if they were pregnant, to marry years ago. Well, this practice is illegal now. Yo, um West Virginia might wanna call and they might um wanna talk to you.

background replace app

Google has a background replace app. Oh yes, get rid of that ugly green screen. That is so supermax. It will help you create better movies. Yeah, here come videos with beautiful backgrounds that are new.

Robots

Robots can predict your every move. Hey, that what we hear in science. AI does feel a bit um creepy. Still, we cannot slow down our progress. Could be that we should or would, but there we are.

California

This just in. California has the worst quality of life in America. Oh wow, we did not see this one coming in. Hey, at least it is sunny. Also, it is warm... most of the year. Still, it is a bit expensive.